Magick!

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What should be an ideal life for a 28-year old woman? She should have a little happy family by now. A responsible husband and a cute daughter or son. But my life is far from such kind of ideal picture I once expected years ago.

Today is the first day of my being 28. Still have to enjoy everything all alone and worse I have no permanent job at the time being. Definitely, I never thought I would be what I am today. But as I am facing day by day, everything feels fine and even joyful to some extends.

My friend once says during his birthday that a year older means a year wiser. I am proud to say to myself that I am better than who I was years ago. Back then, I complained so much. Unimportant trivial things mattered a lot for me. I might not angry literally to someone since I’d prefer to keep everything for myself. But I got stressful easily because of that. My previous job as a journalist prompted me to do everything quickly. I put job as the centre of my life. I barely had time to enjoy myself. Even if I did shopping, I needed to do this activity immediately.

As job was everything, I quickly lost my temper if I failed in doing the best that I should. I could not imagine myself living or working at another office other than the first office I was working. It was like the best working place ever in the world.

I am thankful that God directs me to understand that happiness is what I really need. I love my job and still. But since I was forced to work beyond my capacity I felt being enslaved. I was no longer happy.

Since then, I have learned happiness comes from a balanced life. Working comes third or may be at the fourth place. I am so glad that I had freedom to break myself from the unfair situation and sought other jobs.

May be I have yet to work in a prestigious place as I did. It can be said I am not financially steady. But all in all, I become smarter to make use of what God has given me to survive, financially and emotionally.

Also, past experiences have taught me to believe in myself as the ultimate source of happiness. The older, the more I know that I need to sort my heart and my mind from unnecessary thoughts. Being less sensitive and appreciative to what others think and do. I am trying not to response negative things or comments immediately.

Since I don’t want to waste my time on unimportant things, I am learning how to bounce back each time I encounter sad experiences or failures. This beautiful life should not be spent by being too serious to convince myself that second chances are impossible.

This writing is not an act of narcissm. I prefer to call it as a motivating piece that will push me to keep on moving forward in case I feel down. Plus, I need to write this kind of thing to remind myself how great Alloh swt has been to me. Thus, I need not to be envy with other’s lives. Regardless how small contribution or achievement that I have made, I am contended with everything. For my bravery, my freedom, my idealism…

And I don’t want to bother myself with what I should or should not do in the past. What I am currently facing is the best. I have a wonderful family, amazing friends, a special person at heart, plenty of time to read and write, abundant time to pray and do exercises, dreams to live on, more chances to laugh out loud, and this and that. Including having you who are happening to read this crap.

The list will not be enough. Aren’t those most awesome gifts ever? Saying thank yous to Alloh swt requires bunch, bunch of pages. Thank you dearest God…. You’re the best of all.

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