Going back at school

thank you to coe.jmu.edu for the pict

I feel like I am trapped in a strong whirlwind of questions when it comes to continue my study. For years, I have been dealing with so many things that I still find it hard to make up my mind on what exact steps should I take to be at the university seat again. The problem is I am a visioner. I’ll never take serious steps without knowing in advance on what will I do in the future. Thankfully, I was not that serious back at senior high school. If I was, I would not choose English Literature as my major during college.

Getting a Master scholarship is not easy, at least in my opinion. I believe that scholarship providers carefully select most eligible candidates based on their previous education backgrounds, current professions, and future plans. In my story, problems are like this.

First, I love English literature. I find myself so much in love with the subject after I graduated from the university. When I was a college student back in Gadjah Mada University, I didn’t enjoy literature as much as I feel right now. I strongly believe that I can conquer all problems once I really love at something. Sounds over confident but that proves right for me. The problem is I have to be realistic for a few points. First, my job has nothing to do with literature let alone English novels or poetry. I translate and write news every day. Sadly, when I was still a reporter, I had never had any chances to write something about literature, especially on English or American literature. Second, I have to be honest with my future job. I have no passions in teaching and very few jobs are available for literature writers in Indonesia. Alas! I even have no interest in Indonesian literature, probably closing all chances to work in local-based publishers or media, for instance. When I selected the major for undergraduate level, I just followed my heart and cling hopes on bright jobs ahead. That proved to be fruitful. Should I apply that for now?

Second big matter for me is I have to be realistic amid unclear profession.

I always find it hard to choose between literature and journalism. I love both. Although my education background is literature, I earn most of my income by working as a journalist and translator. And for me, news are everything. I can’t imagine working without dealing with news and media. But also, I don’t wanna be a journalist covering day-to-day conferences, spending hours at a corruption watchdog office for nothing once I return from studying for my Master degree. Working as a journalist in Indonesia is very tiring with unfair salary and holidays. I can no longer tolerate for that.

My friends, who receive scholarships, have a linkage between their past studies, current jobs, and interests. They can come back to where they currently work once they finish their study. I am doubtful that will apply to my conditions. Suppose, I could just choose and completely clueless about future plans then enjoy my life in foreign lands. But I can’t think that way…

This time around, I will not carry myself in uncertainties for any longer. I must decide which one is the best for me and start fighting for staying at school again. It will be very awesome to take notes while listening to lecturers’ preaches, I mean explanations, like the ones I experienced in Yogyakarta. All in all, studying brings headache but can be very fun!


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