The more I read the harder it seems to take a stance. The more I gain knowledge the more I am certain the surest things in life are those mentioned by Alloh swt in the Koran.
The more novels I read the more I become empathetic a.k.a I don’t know if I straightly oppose those are known as villains or still can talk with them. The more I know people’ stories through their words the more I feel less lonely. The more I read what are inside authors’ minds the more I know my opinions are not really original.
As I read and read, I find that my perspectives have been put someone else. After I read a lot of articles and books, I know I am stupid. There have been brilliant minds out there. How am I gonna be different?
I feel so small. I feel like I was a indecisive person because I think and consider a lot of things before putting myself forward for certain judgements. Well, I am sure that I can judge anyone anymore. The truth is I am afraid to judge. I become more careful before I speak because I sometimes believe truths coexist.
What I used to consider false, silly opinions somehow may turn out to be true and add my comments in the future.
When I was at school, I was reading to get good grades. That was so simple. But when I am no longer a schoolgirl, the purpose of reading has begun developing. It has got wider, wiser but scarier.
From enjoying the core of the novels’ stories to add new perspectives to my whole life, reading is the most thrilling activity that may change my opinions, sometimes for better, sometimes for worse depending on which path I am about to head.
At first, reading makes me sitting as a watcher but as years go by, I want to say something, like it or not, I take those whose books I have read, as part of my viewpoints. I feel like I have something to say. But whose words will that be? Are they entirely, wholly mine? I doubt it.
The single, most difficult task as a reader I may not notice I must face is that one day I have to be my own narrative. I have to form my own voice after so many insights inside my head from so many writers I have come across.
That’s so hard, my friends. I won’t call my voice as original but mine will still be authentic. It will be different, though may only slightly. Formulating a distinctive voice amidst life-changing opinions in this world of enlightenment is so damn challenging. It requires I to read even more, connects myself with my own trait, makes peace with honesty, and channels with my hope.
Not only it will be a matter or knowledge per se, but my voice will be a complete understanding; a total package about issues on the surface, analysis, personal influence, hope wrapped in neutral ways as I possibly can.
Good luck for myself!