Understanding His Way of Making Me Following What My Heart Says

When I was a senior high school student, my self-confidence was best tested after I was put in a Social Knowledge class because I got 6 for Math. I was very stupid at Math. I always hated the subject, frankly speaking. I yet hoped that I would be put in Science Knowledge class because that was very unfair that I was placed in the Social Knowledge class just because the score I got at the last term of the second grade of the senior high school.

The decision from the teachers had been made. And I had to come to terms with what my friends said about me being put in “low-caste class”. I even still remembered one of the teachers said, what was the use of being a Social Knowledge class student. Your future was uncertain already, she said. Your peers from the Science Knowledge class would fill up your destined subjects at universities, like Accounting and Economy.

I was filling my third year of the senior high school studying harder than I had ever been before. Part of the reasons for doing that was to prove myself capable of enrolling good university, another part was proving the teacher wrong. But deep down in my heart, and Alloh swt knew this very well, I was fortunate that I was one of the students belonging to Social Science classes. Since I was a very little kid, social sciences had captivated my attention as they have now been.

How lucky I was that Alloh swt later granted my wish of studying English Literature. I didn’t know what made me selecting the subject unless for a very odd, simple reason: because I have always loved the foreign language. I didn’t know what would be laying in front of me after graduating. I didn’t have any seniors to look up to in terms of career but I chose the subject anyway.

I was surrounded by amazing friends, lecturers and ecosystem that made me very blessed person in terms of academics. Studying at the English Literature was one of the best choices I had made. I met smart people in their own kind of ways. I couldn’t measure their intelligence because their thoughts were very new and unique for me. To explain this concretely, I had never thought that talking about books, films would be very serious. I used to think fictions, arts were trivial matters.

Yet, mingling with these people have taught me that art, imagination, ideas are not small things. Concepts, knowledge, observance, critics, emotions, to name some of them, are wrapped in one book, one novel, one film, one drama, you name it. Each and every art form carries within it cultural, social, religious, historical, and even psychological values.

Then, again, what would my future be like?

Like my motivation of choosing English Literature, I opted becoming a journalist right after I graduated from the university; because I love reading news and would love to be one seeking information.

Alloh swt, again, made my dream coming true by making me a journalist of an English-language daily in Jakarta. Despite the fact I survived less than three years at the company, I realized how people like me, those who love reading and writing, do find good places in the commercial world. And they are well-respected and well-paid.

Although I am not as bright as them, I was amazed how Alloh swt introducing me into the world I had never thought existed; jobs related to writing, creative writing in particular.

I took several jobs that probably won’t interest people if they bother asking because they are small companies, a few of them are even closed. Looking back at the very beginning of why I make decisions, I don’t regret them all. As silly as this sounds, I don’t pity myself because of the failures in the past because I am satisfied with all of things that I did at each and every firm I once worked at.

Not much money that are left in my bank account, honestly speaking. But as long as the jobs make me enhancing my reading and writing skills, hell, I am thankful already!



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